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[31 Mar 2005|09:00am] ADD thug_thizzle RIGHT NOW. 8 comments|post comment

[31 Mar 2005|08:21am] i am going to transfer all my journal entries from my old journals to this one. i know it will take a while but i really dont wanna loose them. i like to go back and read the ones from like a year ago. i know im a loser. 1 comment|post comment

[30 Mar 2005|10:15am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | hilary duff//my generation ] I made a new journal just cause i thought i needed one that matched my nickname. Im not sure if i want to use it. I like having my old journal entries. I would like, copy and paste them all into the new one. haha thug_thizzle 16 comments|post comment

[29 Mar 2005|01:39pm] [ music | nofx: monday is my favorite day ] I hate my school so much. im bored. and still grounded but im special and get internet in my room. i finished a shitload of dresses and megs is gonna come over and be my model and i will post pictures for you guys afterwards. because they are that cool. I wish i had some really good friends. like really good friends that i saw all the time. my new best friend lives like 20 minuets away. and i mean courtney lives like 2 minuets away but if she wanted to see me she would call me. she has my home and cell number. some best friend :( i hate always being the one in the relationship who actually puts effot into it. 5 comments|post comment

[29 Mar 2005|10:13am] ( warped tour '05 motha fucka ) 18 comments|post comment

[28 Mar 2005|10:28am] boo 6 comments|post comment

[14 Mar 2005|03:52pm] http://www.4FreeSpot.com/?r=694 the shiznit. ^^^ Best free stuff deals i have found online. EDIT ok now im really really pissed. I just found out TSOL is coming the same night of ashlee simpson. 2 comments|post comment

[14 Mar 2005|09:54am] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | lars frederiksen and the bastards: for you ] I havnt been able to update cause i havnt been on. I just kinda hung around this weekend. Played my bass, cooked some stuff, slept, got yelled at. The usual. benji and joel turned 26 on the 11th. :( old. but still hot. im tired. and depressed. cindy is taking angel to the doctor today and i think they might put her to sleep. she is so old. and its just. jfdsafjks im sad. I have had her for like 10 years. it sucks ass. post comment

for more of a semi-real update [08 Mar 2005|06:22am] holy crap. i was sitting here thinking about mike ness. and friday. and holy christo. when he plays his guitar he looks like he is fucking and its really hot. that was so random but true. i love mike ness. post comment

quiz fun [08 Mar 2005|06:15am] i hate lj cuts Take the quiz: "What Kind of Guy Do You Attract?" Bad Boy you love em' w/ a little edge, don't ya! Hop on a motorcycle and ride till ya die w/ ya parter.Your parter is a crazy ass mofo. if i were you I would have the cops on speed dial. (for you safety) Take the quiz: "Which Spice Girl Are You?" Ginger Spice (Geri) Hey, youre like ginger!!! youre cool and lots of fun to hang out with. youre the life of the party and you always be yourself no matter what! lol post comment

[07 Mar 2005|07:02am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | the unseen: dead and gone ] social d friday. car show saturday. altamonte jazz show sunday. my weekend was ok. had fun at all those things. the car show was great. it just makes me want to buy a car so bad. post comment

If I were you, I'd fucking hate me too [04 Mar 2005|10:20am] [ mood | take a wild fucking guess ] [ music | the distillers ] So today I was reminded by someone why I never wanted to try and make friends in highschool. I do not know what I have done to offend any of you, but I did not mean it. I try to just sit and be quiet and not be a bitch to everyone. I try to keep my opinions to myself. I respect everyones music taste. Everyons fashion. I didn't think there were many people who hated me. I tried to stay out of everyones life so I wouldnt do anything stupid. Then I started actually hanging out with some people out of school and stuff, and I thought I was having fun. But now I realize why I used to avoid it. I dont know why I even tried because threw-out the whole thing, hints were thrown into my face but I tried to ignore it. To knock it off. But i'm not suposed to have to fucking change for friends. My parents want me to have friends, so I try to be decent enough for some people's liking so my parents will be happy. I am sick of it. Im not saying names because its just not the way I want this to work. One good example. I was suposed to go to the movies with someone but I couldnt get the plans figured out so we didnt go. I came to school on monday and heard people telling me I blew this person off. That I stood this person up. I dont know who started this. If it was the person or other people, but it is BS. That is not what happened. Once, there was also a birthday party I had been invited too. I didnt want to go that much but I decided to anyways. Because I thought this person was a good friends and they would want me there. This persons friends didnt like me and ended up being total assholes. Here is a little lesson fuckers. You call people names, they are probably gonna call you names back. Or at least I will. So anyways. After this party, I started to hang out with this person outside of school more with another person. Then I hung out with them last night and learned that the night before, the same friend from the party was over with some other people and they were talking about me. People I dont even know. I have to say that it is flattering that someone who dosnt know me would waste so much time talking about me. But I dont think thats what hurt. What hurt is when I asked this person if they stood up for me, they just stood there. I just found out recently that when people feel like shit, I dont care. It was hard to understand what this person was saying to me but they said I blow people off when I dont like what they like. Ok. Why should I care when there is NEVER anyone that cares when I feel like shit. Oh and dont go into that whole little "Oh holly, I do. I care!" Because you know you dont. I bet you never even think about me except for when we are talking. I know some of you like me, but thats it. Its just that you can stand me for a couple hours. The funny thing is, the person who said all this dosnt even know me. I have barley had one real conversation with them. I have never been mean to them. I never did anything that I thought would offend them. Please. If I have ever said ANYTHING that offended any of you, please tell me! I apologize right now. Hell, I apologize for anything I do in the future that might offend you. I think the one thing that pisses me off the most is that I have one friend that when we hang out, it really seems like they care. Like we have a lot in common in stuff. But then when they get around other people they change. Totally. Nothing like how they are around me. Maybe its just.. Hell I dont know. But this 'good friend' said something that I thougth he would know not to say to me, but he did say it. And yeah, it might be gay to be pissed off about it, but fucking christ. This entry is getting too long and pointless, but get the fuck over it. Skip over it and read the next teenage agnst journal on the list. Its probably saying the same thing though. All you fucking kids that think you know my family life and think you know how pissed off I am all the time, dont. And dont argue saying you do, Because you cant. I have never told you. I am the only one that knows. Stop being so full of yourself. Stop acting like you care about me to feel better about yourself. I have lots of friends? Who? Please tell me because I would love to know. I am sorry, but I dont trust fuckers enough to have friends. Wanna know why? Shit like this. If you have any opinions about me, please come to me and tell me to my fucking face. I have NO idea who was in on the 'Holly cant live with what she dosnt like' gossip trip, and I dont care. If this is what you find as entertainment, Hell then go at it. Sit around with your friends and get stoned in your living room on your moms couch and talk shit about me. It is just proving my point that everyone sucks. I AM a bitch and I dont care. I tried to be nice but I am sick of just getting shit for it. There are only some people that seem to not think im that bad and DONT talk shit about me. But hell, maybe they do. They hang out with the people that do. The people at the lunch table I sit at lunch seem to be awsome people. I dont think they talk shit about. Well not all of them. So everyone who dosn't like me, please tell me so I can stop acting like your friend. Oh, and grow up. I dont care who dosnt like me. I dont care who talks shit. I dont care about you. I dont care about what you say. I dont care if you dont like me. I dont care if im not cool cause i dont drink. I dont care to know what im like drunk. I dont care that your wasting your life away with alcohol and drugs. I dont care if i ever fall in love. I dont care if i end up alone. I dont care if i live on the streets. I dont care when someone hates me. I dont care if you dont like my music. I dont care if im not 'cool'. I dont care if im part of your scene or not. I dont care if people think i dress like a slut. I dont care when people say i look dead. I dont care about you (still). I dont care how rich you are. I dont care how many joints you smoke a day. I dont care how many beers it takes you to get drunk. I dont care if your a slut. I dont care if your a virgin. I dont care when you look at me rudely. I dont care if im always pissed off. I dont care about if my music ends up not being 'punk' or 'hardcore' enough. I dont care if im a posuer or not. I dont care where you buy your clothes (or your groceries). I dont care if your smart. I dont care or stupid. I dont care if im a bitch to you. I dont care that im not as skiny as you. I dont care that you arnt the mold of punk/hardcore/emo/prep. I dont care if you model. I dont care if you write hardcore music or pop music. I dont care what your parents think of me. I dont care about money. I dont care how famous you are. I dont care how many times you have fucked a guy at a show while drunk. I dont care what drugs you do. I dont care whats cool or not. I dont care if cursing is rude to you. I dont care how big your house is. I dont care how expensive your guitar is. I dont care if you are fat or skinny. I dont care if your a pornstar. I dont care if your a priest. I dont care if you think im hot. I dont care how many pictures or songs or bands you have listed on your myspace page. I dont care if you have a myspace page at all. I dont care if you think im ugly. I dont care about freshman. I dont care about sophmores. I dont care about juniors. I dont care about seniors. I dont care about how old you are. I dont care or how great/bad your grades are. I dont care what side of town you live in. I dont care what cds/records you own. I dont care how many ezines you write for. I dont care how many band guys you have fucked. I dont care how many bands you have seen live. I dont care about you. Now i remember why courtney is my best friend. She dosnt either. except for me. the only person who does i think. Disclaimer: This update is not for everyone who reads it. There are the peoeple that i DO think are cool and stuff. that are really nice to me and dont talk shit. but you know if this is for you or not. edit: sorry to the people who this isnt too that had to read it. you know who you are. 5 comments|post comment

i love one liners [03 Mar 2005|06:17am] im really not all that great at making friends. 7 comments|post comment

dont care about a thing today [02 Mar 2005|09:51am] [ mood | pissed off ] ( i used to but im fed up ) 1 comment|post comment

fun stuff [28 Feb 2005|09:23am] [ mood | bitchy/tired/sarcastic ] [ music | ashlee simpson: lala ] ( fun stuff to fuck ) post comment

[26 Feb 2005|11:25am] [ music | 50 cent: PIMP ] Yesterday was really really fun. Me, corey and scott have lots of fun togeather. lol and i have like 500000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 pictures to prove it. mother fucker. ( you make me wanna lala ) 5 comments|post comment

this is so korny. but i just realized giving up means giving in. so ashlee says.... [24 Feb 2005|07:43pm] [ mood | tough ] [ music | a. simpson: autobiography ] i walked a thousand miles to find one river of peace and i'll walk a million more to find what this shit means EDIT: paris hiltons boobies 3 comments|post comment

I just wanna live [24 Feb 2005|08:37am] [ mood | dont know how to explain ] [ music | Good Charlotte: I just wanna live ] ok journal update.... i was just contemplating if i should right a long entry or just go and do a lame couple liner. yesterday, i was forced to go to therapy with my parents. it was one of the worse ones that we have had. i told my dad that the more i get to know him the more i dont like him. that i think i used to just think he was cool and that we had so much in common cause i want to impress him. him and tucker are about the only two people in the world that i care about what they think. he dosnt understand that. that i am totally different than he sees. i just want him to accept me i guess. and i think the music thing is so important because it is one thing we do have in common. my "w" key is messed up so i have to go back and erase all the extra "r"s from it cause when i put a "w" it makes a couple "r"s after it. ok this is gay. so anyways. i walked out about half way threw it. i couldnt take it anymore. adults gang up on kids too much. so i walked out to the waiting room and read people. i drove home with cindy and we talked about the reasons that im misserable. she is cool. im happy she is around because she understands why i cant stand living in that house. im just sick of being underage and i cant take people yelling at me and telling me what to do. especially my dad. we were trying to think of things to help and i know for a fact im going to seminole but she was wondering if i wanted to go away somewhrere. i cant think of anywhere but that would be so cool. so i might do that. look up some bording schools or something. if they arnt too bad. im ready to be 18. i want to do what i want. i know everyone does. but i just have this gut feeling like i would be happier and more succsessfull if i got to make my own decisions. then we stoped at sobiks ont he way home to get some dinner. we were talking to the guy there and he said they were hiering and they just hired a girl but it was her first day and she didnt show up. so he gave me an application and the math test so i will know whats on it. lol that guy was awsome. it would be nice if i could get a job. it would make life easier. i mean, money isnt what makes people happy and i know that. but i will need some eventually. i grew up too fast. oh yeah and i decided to write my mom a letter. maybe cindy can get it to her. also. man i write too much. i cant decide what sucks more. the fact that my life is nothing like i want it to be. or the fact that it would be so easy to make it how i want it to be. if that made sense. im also going to go around greatestjournal and livejournal and get all my old journals and put those entries in here cause im that bored and i just hate having these craploads of journals. *is a loser* <3 Holly 2 comments|post comment

[22 Feb 2005|08:32pm] [ mood | just hfkdjsafdsa ] [ music | mxpx: get with it ] Im not doing good in school. Its not that my grades are bad, but its just that im lost as hell. Everything just seems to be so wierd latley. I have been really depressed. I just wanna play in a fucking band and play music that i like. I dont wanna have to limit myself because of other people. Im just getting so stupid of the kids around me who see getting drunk as entertainment. I just am sick of not fitting in. This whole entry is already all emoish and shit but its true. I dont really have anything in common with anyone my age. Its anoying. I was watching Hilary Duff on Operah and I realized i want to meet her. Just so i can talk to her for a little bit. I mean, the girl is 17 and look how much shit she has achieved. Maybe she can help me get a little more motivated. lol im such a stupid jack ass. Thank god for music. It dosnt exactly keep me from being lonley but it does help to know that there are some people out there that think like me. Even if i never meet them. JKFJDKSLJDFSKLFSD i hate that i grew up so fast. post comment

[22 Feb 2005|08:17am] [ music | rancid: hyena ] i hate being underage. I think the only thing that is worse than being underage is when almost everything you want you have to be 18+ to have. Someone shoot me please. haha im tired. and in a shitty mood. i apologize for my shitty attitude before hand. post comment

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